You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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