i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
