Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
