You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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