Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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