it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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