its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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