I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
