operation harelip BJ is a go
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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