i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There's even glitter on my cock...
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