with your own penis?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
