did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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