ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
