Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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