did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
