I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
