the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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