Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize