marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
