I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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