that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize