She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Randomize
