Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm bleeding and have questions
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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