I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
