I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
