Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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