i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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