I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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