Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
