that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
