Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
