I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
