well I can't set my house on fire every night
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize