in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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