what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize