Who did Billy Mays play for?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
