a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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