I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
