Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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