I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
