kristin has been a bad kristin
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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