the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
