I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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