i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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