I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
