sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
