planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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