Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
