Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In other news, I just burned my penis
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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