3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
