if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
