The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
