You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
