If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
