Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
