Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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