He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
