we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
