"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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