Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
