Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i drank out of a bidet.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
