I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
